'Spent today playing the game. Towards afternoon reached the point of relaxed comprehension I was aiming for. It seems to me that if I can achieve some sort of self-discipline, instead of aimless reading, aimless thinking, I can defeat my depression. Very bad for me, Janet's not being here, no need to get up in the morning, no outer shape to my life. Must give it an inner shape. If the 'game' doesn't work, get a job, I must anyway, for financial reasons. (Find myself not eating, watching pennies, I hate the idea of working so much.) I'll find some sort of welfare work - it's what I'm good at.'